AM is in the midst of her first grounding. She has been fast becoming a bully, and we have been very unsuccessful in getting her to stop hitting, pushing, yelling, and other things that go under the bully category. We decided to make her go a week without TV (which she watches very little of anyway) to remind her not to hit or push others. Yet she kept hitting and pushing, so we extended the restriction to no TV and no computer priveleges (which is what she had been doing when the boys watched a movie). That did not seem to be enough, so we took away toys. That sounds harsh upon first hearing it, but if you think about it, we took away the things that children in the past didn’t have access to anyway.
Anna is really beginning to use her imagination more and is able to keep herself entertained without toys, computer, or TV! It is interesting that we only disciplined her for hitting and pushing, yet her tone and whole manner is more kind (most of the time) than it was before. She is also more willing to help around the house, probably to fight off boredom. I think she is really learning from this. Hopefully it will stick when she finally gets those priveleges back. In a way, I can’t wait until she has access to them again.
Honestly, it is almost as hard on me to stick with the discipline as it is for her, but she and I are both learning so much that, deep down, I am glad this is happening. It makes me wonder if it wouldn’t be good for every child to have to take a brief time off from modern entertainment just to learn some of the lessons that AM is being forced to learn (hopefully). I will probably post more on this topic as it is a big part of every day.
It is interesting that I am writing about a movie experience including AM, since she can’t watch them right now, but evidently she remembered something from a movie she watched a while back.
I just caught AM shaking her fist in front of P’s face out of frustration at him. I told her not to ever do it again and that shaking her fist in someone’s face is part of being a bully. Then I asked her if anybody had ever shaken their fist at her, wondering where she learned it. She said “no,” so I asked her where she had seen it. She said she had seen a “bad guy” doing it on a movie. I started to tell her that she didn’t need to watch movies like that b/c they taught her bad stuff. But instead, I said, “You saw a bad guy do it, right?” She nodded. I asked her if she wanted to be like a bad guy, and she said no. I told her that if she doesn’t want to be like a bad guy, she doesn’t need to do things she sees bad guys do. I think that impacted her more than anything else I could have done. I actually thought to do something that would teach her to discern right from wrong instead of protecting her to keep her from wrong! Of course, we will still monitor what she watches b/c there are some things 5 year olds do not need to see or hear! (and some times good guys do things they shouldn’t). More later, I’m sure!! 🙂
I am reading a book called Love is a Decision by Gary SMalley and John Trent. It is a great book! I recommend it to anyone who is in any type of relationship: spouse, parent, sibling, etc.
What really caught my attention was Smalley’s discussion of “Treasure hunting.” He says that in any negative situation, no matter how bad, there is some kind of treaser to be found. For example, Smalley’s son, Michael, was involved in a pretty rough automobile accident, and he had to go through a lot of pain to recover. Although, he wasn’t searching for treasure initially, he realized that after the accident, he could no longer see an accident without praying for those involved. He would not have considered doing that had he not been involved in an accident himself.
I have noticed that I, having lived with a brother who was in a wheelchair, am more likely to notice the needs of the handicapped. There are probably multiple examples of this in the lives of us all.
One more thing that should be mentioned, Smalley said that you may not notice the treasure immediately. It might take some time to see it. If you have suffered a trial and have not found treasure in it, it probably wouldn’t hurt to look back on that hard time, seeking to find treasure! It sure helps you to heal from the wound, emotionally! If any of you family members want to borrow the book, let me know! I’m almost finished with it!!
I have just barely scraped the surface of the good stuff to be found in this book. Beware though! In order to benefit from the book, you might be forced to take an honest look at yourself and admit to some shortcomings!! Hopefully this post has been helpful to someone out there! It feels good to me just to have written it down in my own words!! Have a great day!
Today, Ph ate some Skittles and ended up with a colorful painting on the front of his cream shirt. It was probably there for an hour before he looked down and said, “Something on my shirt.” He proceeded to get a piece of toilet paper and attempt to wash it off his shirt. He got really frustrated when it would not come off, but finally gave up when I told him we would get it off in the washing machine. I was just wondering, do I finally have a child that has a desire to be neat? I won’t get my hopes up yet, he’s only 2 and could change his mind! It was cute regardless!
On Thanksgiving Day, we went to visit my sister-in-law and family. She just bought a new baby monitor and had it on top of her TV. When the baby started crying through the monitor, P looked around the room, trying to find the baby. Then his eyes rested on the TV, and his looked changed from one of curiousity to one of concern. He looked around at everybody in the room and said, “Is the baby in the TV?” I took a few minutes to explain to him how a baby monitor works, and his look of concern eased. I’m not sure he was completely at ease until he saw his satisfied little cousin, who now had a full tummy!! The innocence of a 3 year old!!
Just a little something cute! This morning we were all sitting around the living room doing various things (T, AM, P, Ph) when the sun went behind a cloud. P jerked his head up and said, “Hey! Did the window go off?” Of course, I explained to him that the sun had gone behind a cloud. He seemed satisfied. It was so cute, though!
We came up with a fun game. We call it hide the snake. We hid a long stuffed snake of P’s. It is neat to hide the snake because it can be rolled up and put in a small place or stretched out and placed across a curtain rod or on a ceiling fan. The snake had to be hidden in a place where it could be seen without moving anything. AM and P did pretty good at hiding it, but Ph would hide it and then show everybody where it was. I tried to arrange it so that P found it when Ph hid it b/c AM could find the harder ones. Ph actually found it several times! He was so excited when he did! When I hid it, I tried to take turns with the heights and where I put it, so that whoever had not found it in a while had a better chance of finding it! Of course, sometimes I had to make it more difficult (for my sake) by hiding it so that only a small part of it could be seen! If they had difficulty finding it, I would tell who was the closest or whether they had to look behind something. This game kept them entertained for about an hour!!
I wonder if it is possible to train babies to learn when to sleep and when to awaken while still in the mother’s womb? The other day, the baby was very active, but when I got in the shower, she got still. It made me wonder if you made soothing sounds (running water, vacuum cleaner) when you wanted the baby to settle down to sleep if it would work. Even if it did work, it would not help the baby have his days and nights straight, especially if the baby is born in the middle of the night. I doubt the baby sleeps through the labor process. Oh well!! This entry is probably a bunch of nonsense, but hey, I needed somthing to put in my blog!